On ADHD:
“I feel great regret
that, although I sought professional help for my son
from a very early age, we had to wait until he was 14
to get a diagnosis and then only because we went to
a private clinic. If I had known then what I know now
we would have been able to deal with the problems in
a much more understanding and different way. As it is
now there seems to be very little anyone can do to help
him; a boy who is extremely bright and full of potential
seems to have no future.”
“My
child often spends time alone due to her inability to
keep friends. Because she cannot comprehend rules of
games she is accused of cheating. As she really hates
not being liked or to have something not nice said about
her this can cause her great distress. I arranged a
birthday party for her a couple of years ago but no
one came. I was so upset for her. People think she is
just bad or that I am not a good mother and therefore
discourage their children from playing with her.”
“My
ADHD family is extremely challenging! However I consider
myself to have had a much deeper experience of motherhood
because of it and my children are the most interesting,
colourful, caring, energetic, intelligent teenagers
I’ve met. As teenagers they seem to be more self-centred
than most, but when challenged care more than most.
I believe their capacity to be caring, flexible, successful,
happy and responsible adults is immense but they’ll
have to work at it!”
On their child being diagnosed
with ADHD:
“Relieved
with the fact that it wasn’t my parenting skills
because we all try hard with our children.”
“The diagnosis was like
the missing piece of the jigsaw, everything just slotted
together.”
“We were worried about
his future and what ADHD would mean for him, past, present,
future. We remain proud of him.”
On the impact
ADHD has on their child:
“I feel I have let
him down. He should have been diagnosed earlier. It
would have made a big difference to his school life.”
“At the moment it breaks
my heart to see my little girl all alone at school.”
On
how misperceptions about ADHD have impacted on people’s
view of them:
“I feel angry when I read articles saying ADHD
is not real and it is just bad parenting – some
believe what they read in the press – fortunately
I have a supportive family and friends.”
“I feel saddened by the
negative publicity ADHD received. These children have
a hard enough time without being given so much negative
publicity – what about positive role models with
ADHD?”
Parents
describe how they felt when their child was first diagnosed
with ADHD:
“Relieved with the fact that it wasn’t my
parenting skills because we all try hard with our children.”
“The diagnosis was like
the missing piece of the jigsaw, everything just slotted
together.”
“We were worried about
his future and what ADHD would mean for him, past, present,
future. We remain proud of him.”
Parents
describe the way that they feel about the impact ADHD
has on their child.
“Sad as he is getting older the gulf is getting
wider with his peers and there are more and more limits
on his life compared to them.”
“Very sad that my son
has lost out on a happier childhood; often he was so
misunderstood.”
“Very sad that other
peers turn their back on him, when they themselves do
not understand why he is the way he is and is not explained
to them by their parents, due to ignorance.”
“At the moment it breaks
my heart to see my little girl all alone at school.”
“I feel I have let him
down. He should have been diagnosed earlier. It would
have made a big difference to his school life.”
“That my son has a considerable
‘disability’ that affects every aspect of
his life, sad that he cannot do lots of things that
other children his age take for granted and are able
to enjoy.”
"I spent most of his school
life defending and protecting him from people who had
not the slightest idea how to treat my child and I was
made to feel a bad person for doing this.”
Parents explain how misperceptions
about ADHD have impacted on how other people view them:
“I
feel angry when I read articles saying ADHD is not real
and it is just bad parenting – some believe what
they read in the press – fortunately I have a
supportive family and friends.”
“I feel saddened
by the negative publicity ADHD received. These children
have a heard enough time without being given so much
negative publicity – ‘what about positive
role models with ADHD’?.”
People view that what
they read is gospel – therefore they feel that
ADHD is NOT real which makes me very angry! I live with
it every day!”
Parents of a child with ADHD
explain the single thing that has made the most difference:
“The whole
point of my son’s success has not been a single
thing – it has been medical, school, family and
my son all working together.”
“One of the most
understanding teachers at school who saw him as a challenge
rather than a nuisance.”
“My son with ADHD
for trying his hardest!”
Parents highlight the
special things about their child with ADHD:
“He has successfully
sat 10 G.C.S.E’s this year when we didn’t
expect him to sit for one (passed or not – HE
SAT FOR THEM).
”“Ability
to get knocked down emotionally by peers and get back
up again.” (aged 12)
“He has never
used ADHD as an excuse.
”“He tries
to be positive about his ADHD as much as he understands
for his age.” (aged 7)
“What they ARE
is charming – what they DO is problematic.”
NOTES:
- Permission to anonymously publish
quotes from the ADDISS Families Survey, August 2006,
was given in full by all participants who completed
and returned the survey
- Names and identifying data
have been changed to protect the identity of the survey
participants quoted in the media materials
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